I thought I would pass on some thoughts about communication as this is a generic and useful skill to master.
I am sure you will have heard the saying “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. I love this saying as it invites us to stop moaning about what we are unhappy about and to look at how we can change to get a different response.
There are many ways we can look at communication and here I am staying with generalisations rather than going into specific models..
Abe Wagner is for me one of the gurus of communication and in his book “Say it straight or show it crooked” he has listed Keys to Effective Communication and some of them are listed here.
1. Understand your goals and direct your activity to accomplish them
2. Treat yourself and others with dignity and respect
3. Be self-determining and help others to be the same
4. Be responsible for your own thinking, feeling and behaviour
5. Speak with the purpose of resolving issues, rather than proving you are right
6. Continue what works, and modify or discontinue what does not work
7. Ask for what you want and invite others to do the same
8. Make agreements that you are willing and intend to keep
9. In a conflict, communicate only with those who can help you resolve it.
Also keep in mind the need to tailor your message to your audience by making the message appropriate to the receiver’s frame of reference, for instance we talk differently to children than to adults and to a novice than to an expert.
When you are networking or talking with a customer, whether face to face or over the phone, there are stages to a conversation and you need to ensure that you move through all the stages. It can be quite easy to stay at level one or two and not get down to the reason for the meeting in the first place.
1. Level One – Small Talk
This is the building rapport stage when you discuss the weather (if you are British!) or ask questions about each other’s background. This may be omitted if talking over the phone and you are hunting. If you have established a relationship with the prospect/customer then you engage in this stage although it is brief – a couple of minutes at the most.
2. Level Two – Gentle Probing and Cautious Disclosure
You have now moved on to questions about their business in general and disclose positive aspects of your company. Again keep this brief if on the phone.
3. Level Three – Steering towards Business
Now you begin talking about the reason you are there, your objective. Understanding their needs and putting your proposition. The real start of the reason for the communication.
4. Level Four – Testing for Interest
This is going for the close.
And finally, two presuppositions taken from NLP:
It is not possible not to communicate.
The meaning of the communication is in the response you get.
I am sure you will have heard the saying “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. I love this saying as it invites us to stop moaning about what we are unhappy about and to look at how we can change to get a different response.
There are many ways we can look at communication and here I am staying with generalisations rather than going into specific models..
Abe Wagner is for me one of the gurus of communication and in his book “Say it straight or show it crooked” he has listed Keys to Effective Communication and some of them are listed here.
1. Understand your goals and direct your activity to accomplish them
2. Treat yourself and others with dignity and respect
3. Be self-determining and help others to be the same
4. Be responsible for your own thinking, feeling and behaviour
5. Speak with the purpose of resolving issues, rather than proving you are right
6. Continue what works, and modify or discontinue what does not work
7. Ask for what you want and invite others to do the same
8. Make agreements that you are willing and intend to keep
9. In a conflict, communicate only with those who can help you resolve it.
Also keep in mind the need to tailor your message to your audience by making the message appropriate to the receiver’s frame of reference, for instance we talk differently to children than to adults and to a novice than to an expert.
When you are networking or talking with a customer, whether face to face or over the phone, there are stages to a conversation and you need to ensure that you move through all the stages. It can be quite easy to stay at level one or two and not get down to the reason for the meeting in the first place.
1. Level One – Small Talk
This is the building rapport stage when you discuss the weather (if you are British!) or ask questions about each other’s background. This may be omitted if talking over the phone and you are hunting. If you have established a relationship with the prospect/customer then you engage in this stage although it is brief – a couple of minutes at the most.
2. Level Two – Gentle Probing and Cautious Disclosure
You have now moved on to questions about their business in general and disclose positive aspects of your company. Again keep this brief if on the phone.
3. Level Three – Steering towards Business
Now you begin talking about the reason you are there, your objective. Understanding their needs and putting your proposition. The real start of the reason for the communication.
4. Level Four – Testing for Interest
This is going for the close.
And finally, two presuppositions taken from NLP:
It is not possible not to communicate.
The meaning of the communication is in the response you get.
