New Year’s Resolutions and Goal Setting

At this time of year, it is common for people to make resolutions about the future. The mental health charity, "Mind" warns against this, saying that resolutions which focus on issues such as the need to lose weight or job worries create a negative self-image and if the plans fail to materialise, that could trigger feelings of failure and inadequacy. Rather they advocate thinking positively about the year to come and what you can achieve.
The tradition of the New Year's Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C. Janus, a mythical god of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar. With two faces, Janus could look back on past events and forward to the future. Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions and many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and also exchanged gifts before the beginning of each year.

According to one website the most popular resolutions are:

1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends
2. Fit in Fitness
3. Tame the Bulge
4. Quit Smoking
5. Enjoy Life More
6. Quit Drinking
7. Get Out of Debt
8. Learn Something New
9. Help Others
10. Get Organized

We should all recognise that this is not something we should do just at New Year. Rather our goals found need to be considered carefully and reviewed regularly to be effective.

Our 10 Top Tips for Goal Setting are:

10 Top Tips for Setting and Achieving Your Goals

1. When setting your goals do think about your life balance. Are the new goals compatible with the other areas of your life? Areas to consider are: Business/Work/Career, Family, Leisure/Hobbies, Friends/Social Life, Relationships, Health/Fitness, Finances, Dreams/Personal Goals.

2. Do ensure your goals are written using the SMART mnemonic as your guide.

Specific. Does the goal state clearly what it is you want to accomplish.

Measurable. There needs to be a way of measuring whether your goal is being achieved so a form of assessment needs to be included. This keeps you on track and also provides motivation, especially if you also include milestones along the way linked to dates.

Achievable. Your goal should stretch you and also be achievable within your capabilities, your area of influence, your finances and the time frame you are giving yourself.

Relevant. Your goal should be relevant to your life, career, work, ambitions and your development.

Time Bounded. Have you set a time-scale for when you want to have achieved your goal? Also at what stage/s will you review your progress?

3. Aim to use descriptive language when writing your goal. If you find the measurable aspect is challenging then ask yourself “What would I see/hear/ feel if my expectations were met” so that you focus on the outcome.

4. Use active verbs and keep your goals succinct.

5. If you have set a big goal then break it down into bite sized chunks and map these strategically with a time line.

6. Keep your goals visible. Remind yourself of your goals daily as this will help keep you on track in prioritising your activities and with your time management.

7. Think about your favourite ways of procrastinating and analyse what’s stopping you from moving forward with your goal, then break out of these habits. Goals are achieved through action.

8. Share your goals with others, this helps them to become tangible and others may be able to give advice, encouragement and keep you focussed. Think about your Circle of Influence and map out who might be able to help you.

9. Remember to celebrate success. As every milestone is achieved be proud of your achievements, give yourself a pat on the back and also do something tangible that is a reward for you.

10. Start now and ensure you are engaging in Positive Thinking and keep your nagging doubting voice under control.

Susan Lock and Steve Goodwill

The Voice in Your Head

For several months I have been working with Bucks. New University as a trainer and coach on their Graduate Internship Scheme. I have trained over 100 graduates in Employability Skills and coached many of them on issues of lack of confidence and self esteem.
It seems to me that lack of confidence and self esteem are issues that many of us have and that our thoughts, if we let them, can gradually lead us into a powerless state as we start to believe our own self talk of how we are not as good as others or worthy to get a job or new account or whatever we are looking to achieve.

How we reach the stage of such damaging self talk is probably not important, instead what is important is what we are going to do to keep us in touch with reality. We can draw upon two great overarching models here to help us fight off our darkest thoughts, one is from Transactional Analysis and the other Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).

Starting with Transactional Analysis and the model of I’m OK, You’re OK which is a very simple model to understand but perhaps more complicated to achieve. For more information on this model most TA books cover it in detail.. All we need to do is act as if we believe this concept which is based on respecting yourself whilst equally respecting others and we then influence our behaviour appropriately. So constantly reminding ourselves at times of self doubt of the two little words “plus plus” (++) really works.

“Act as if” is a maxim from NLP, it doesn’t matter whether you feel confident just “act as if” you are confident, as only you will know you are not feeling confident and then through your actions you will become confident. Having an anchor for confidence I think is also a great help at times and using the Circle of Excellence with an additional anchor is a great boost for confidence.
If we go right back to the presuppositions of NLP I think these can be a positive thought source for us when we are embarking on what we might feel as scary territory. Of the 13 presuppositions there are quite a few that have relevance to us at times of self doubt:

 We already possess the resources we need or we can create them.
 People make the best choice they can at the time, given their Map of the World.
 People work perfectly, none of us is broken. We execute our strategies perfectly it’s just that sometimes our strategies might not be the best ones for us.
 Every behaviour has a positive intention.
 All actions have a purpose.
 If what you are doing isn’t working then do something else.
 Modelling successful performance leads to excellence.

To read more about NLP, it’s presuppositions and other elements that help us to be more effective there are two books that are easy reading and comprehensive, one is Sue Knight’s new book "Working with NLP" and the other is Joseph O’Connor’s "The NLP Workbook." We also use NLP on most of our workshops where we think it offers an insight into helping us to be the best that we can be. Plus we run a workshop called Getting Started with NLP and following this another called Moving Forward with NLP - for more information just send an email to susan.lock@keycon.co.uk

Remember your life starts in your mind so use it wisely.

All best wishes to you.
Sue Lock
July 2010